So we all know what happens when the superiors take leave - things go slower, perhaps for the better; there's no one to report to and get feedback from; the employees' workload doubles.
I wonder what will happen if the same situation takes place in the divine realms of heaven............
It's just like any other day for Dong. He's just returned from his regular patrols around the farm. After all, he's been under strict orders not to let those pesky environmentalists in lest videos of 'inhumane treatment' gets published.
Some days he'd think back and reminisce the days where he'd sit on the rocking chair, looking out into the backyard where the chickens would run around head bobbing and all. Yes he is a convert of what we call intensive farming, a process that has turned his farm into a factory, fronted by chickens that develop their muscles rapidly through genetic selection and jabs from chemicals with names you need to be a literature graduate to pronounce.
At least he's feeding the family well, he thought. That was until a freak accident caused him to get himself injected with the same growth chemical. 2 weeks later he died from extreme muscle growth around the neck that constricted his airway.
His misfortunes didn't end there though...
Dong woke up to the sight of a long tunnel with a strange light at the other end. "This must be it," he thought as he walked towards the tunnel.
To his surprise, the tunnel was equipped with a travelator, how convenient! Along the way the radio on the walls explained to Dong about the upgrades that the PRA (Punishments and Reincarnations Authority) has undergone. The place sure looks much different from the last time he visited (His mother dragged him out of his dreams and begged him to burn him a HDTV after showing him that all the other tai-tais in heaven had one).
So he went through with the usual process, looked into his past and present life, walked through the 10 chambers of hell and eventually reached the judgement hall.
"For what you have done to thousands of innocent little lives, I have decided that in your next life, you shall be reborn as a duck!"
"EEEEEE" (being a duck 做鸭 also refers to being a giggolo in the Chinese context)
Of course, he had no say since the judge had already disappeared off to the skies above the Pacific for his well deserved holiday, and it doesn't help that the gaurds had him at spearpoint.
So off he went to the reincarnation bridge. Dong took a sip of the soup and jumped into the portal hoping not to end up on a dinner table.
Isn't he lucky... Dong's reincarnation got selected to become a delicacy in the Philippines, Balut. This dish requires the cooking of a fertilized duck egg that has been incubated for 17 days.
Passing through the portal, Dong found himself falling several feet... and landed right at the entrance of the tunnel with a strange light at the other end yet again.
It didn't help a single bit that no one knew why he came back that soon; everyone just rushed him off to the judgement hall where another judge told him to just head to the portal.
"lets see your past life..."
"but i have no past life! i dropped here immediately after the portal!"
"wait... how did you know about the portal? GAURDS!"
Dong was locked up in the torture chamber filled with celestial poo for a week, during which Meng Po's soup acted up and Dong forgot everything.
With no where to go, no clearance for the portal and not even a single clue of what is going on. Dong has been spending the rest of his spiritual days at the Cafe of Restless Souls.
A decade has passed, Dong is still alone at the cafe until one dirty looking man walked in.
"nice to see someone pass by once in a long while... What's up with you?"
"judge sentenced me to reincarnate as a blade of grass for 1000 times."
"that's harsh..."
"and to make matters worst, I spawn a meter away from my old place."
"what's so bad about that?"
"there's a cow grazing around"
So the two of them sat by the al fresco area drinking their never ending cup of kopi-o, until one day when the grass decides to finish his remaining 888 reincarnations at least...
