Saturday, December 6, 2008

Phantoms of the Bus Opera

We have people complaining about slow buses, now it's my turn to complain. However, I'll be complaining about people I dislike to be on the buses with. Enjoy and feel free to add on to the list =)

DJ Wannabes
They're deaf, they're audibly unsound, they're inconsiderate!
I don't know what's on their minds but they just like to turn on that loudspeaker of their handphones and blast songs for the whole of the bus to hear. Most of those songs aren't even audible through the stressed out speaker due to distortion! 

God knows what's on their mind when they do that, haven't they heard of the wonderful invention called the earpiece? Don't tell me that they expect 50 other people to use it so that the 4 or 5 of them can blast their 'music'? Genres involved are usually techno, PUNK rock, Chinese POP and POP. Irritates me!

Chatterboxes
Still noisy, but in a different sense.
These are the people that can't stop talking. And when they talk, they yell...
Imagine being stuck in a jam along the fabled lornie road/adam road stretch. Some jokers get on along MacRitchie and take the seats behind yours. Trying to 'enjoy the jam' they start to chat, and chat LOUD!

KAO PEI LA! WHO'RE YOU TRYING TO TALK TO? THE UNCLE BY THE OTHER END OF THE FRIGGIN' BUS ISSIT!? THAT PERSON IS JUST NEXT TO YOU! YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL RIGHT INTO YOUR PARTNER'S EARS! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I SUDDENLY YELL RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR EAR WHILE YOU'RE TALKING NICELY OVER THE PHONE! MAYBE I SHOULD ADD A FART OR TWO AH!

Kung Fu Masters
Not that they make funny acrobatics on the bus, they just tend to do things the wrong way.
It's slowly becoming a Singaporean thing to put up your legs and rest the knees on the seat in front of you. Of course, we cannot blame the passengers as we should've seen it coming when our people are getting taller yet we're cramping more seats into the buses.

But it's how they rest their knees that's the problem. Some like to rest the knees low, and with that they just feel the itch to press the legs forcefully against the seats. Naturally when that happens, the guy in front would feel the pressure at two points on his back. Not easy to rest on the bus if you ask me hmmm...

Doing so actually not only creates discomfort for the passenger in front, it also damages property. The seats aren't exactly solid; the lower portion breaks if you damage it too much and creates a hole with sharp edges. However, the upper portion where there're no markings prove to be much more able to handle physical stress. As such, I would lower my body and lift the knees to the point where they rest on the stronger parts of the seat. You don't have to press it in since they're supportive enough, and you don't risk paying a fine for damage to property.

Hoggers
No need to elaborate, check out the previous post on moving to the back of the bus.

Spartans!!!
No they don't run around naked and scream for no reason. The ones I'm referring to are those that force their way through crowds just to get to an empty seat.

Sometimes they're not even in need of a seat! I've come across a lady who rushed by 4 men just to sit down, only to get end up rushing by the same 4 men to get off the bus...

I say, if you're really in need of the seat, I would gladly give it up to you. But if you're so strong and capable that you can elbow and push aside 4 strong young men, I don't see why you cannot stand for another 4 stops.

Sleeping (not really) Beauty
We all get tired - Not enough sleep the night before, just got off work, accidentally had sleeping pills.

And when we do, we sleep. Thing is, we don't know what we do when we sleep until someone tells us about it (that's how I know that I fart in my sleep).

One kind of sleeper that irritates me are those that cannot sleep in one spot. Instead of keeping still, they sleep and let their heads droop closer and closer to your shoulders... It's ok if that's a hot chick doing it but when it's a huge sweaty gentleman.........

Nevermind! I remember seeing this chap sleeping in front of me a few days back. While his body keeps still when he sleeps, his head doesn't. It was hilarious yet scary to watch! His head will droop backwards, go back in an attempt to steady it, AND DROP HARD ONTO THE HEADREST! The guy incredibly keeps sleeping and lets the cycle continue! I could even hear the thuds his head makes through my inner ear phones!

The bus is a place I spend a large amount of time in. Most of the time I try to sleep and not disturb anyone. But when I don't, I observe the funny things people do. Maybe next time, if you see me on the bus, wake me up and show me something funny!

BAH!